fasting

so i’ve decided to fast eating fried foods and candy until i move into the house. my mom keeps wanting to back out but we’ve convinced her to not do anything. we’re not 100% on the move yet anyway because we have to wait for the bank to approve. I guess my mom’s hoping that the bank decline but my sisters and I pray that it goes through because i really want to get out of this shithole already. Dont get me wrong, i thank my aunt for giving me a place to stay for all this time but the truth is that we dont get along. we have different lifestyles and this isn’t the safest neighborhood in houston. I cant come in and out as a please and i cant invite people over. I cant jog or just play at the neighborhood park. Last time i went there with kim, some middle school kid tried to steal our purses and our phones. I moved to texas with a promise that we’ live in an apartment until we can get a house and i’ve shared a bedroom upstairs with my mom for two years now. Only getting the kitchen when it’s not in use. with specific hours of when and when i cant come in and out of the house. It’s not a lifestyle that anyone should adjust to, it’s something tempary and i am definitely ready to leave.
I understand that the house we’re moving into has a defect but its minor and we’re able to deal with it. The thing is, my mom is a super extremist. she takes everything she hears to another level and thinks of scenarios that i would never imagine! I guess it’s because we’re first time buyers and it’s a big commitment that we dont want to mess up. but it’s also the fact that school only gets harder and life only gets busier. I want to be able to settle into the house before life takes us away. i want to be able to have a place to study in, my own bed to sleep in. i want to stop living out of boxes and life from the comfort of my own space.
Another thing im praying for and have been slacking is getting a car. I already lost a car i wanted but i know there’s many other cars out there. the only thing is that my parents rather i buy from a person we know or our friends know because they think it’s more reliable. They dont want the car to have been in any accidents and the want good mileage. I stopped looking recently through all the house stress [which i believe is more important] but i still do want a car. I want to be able to stop having to try to find rides every day instead of being able to depend on my own. it’s so stressful not knowing how im going to get to school and get home from school each day. and how my mom and i are sharing one car and need to take my sisters to places too.
Im really trying to focus on school with so much going on and im just praying for strength to get through each day without going insane. I want to keep my cool for my mom and sisters and i want to be able to get through this hardship with them instead of driving each other crazy. it’s really hard sharing ONE room with the four of us and just two closets and one bed. I just want this moving process to move by effieciently and swiftly. I pray that nothing goes wrong and that we will be able to look back and be blessed. So until then, i will be fasting.

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2 thoughts on “fasting

  1. For what reason should you be fasting? just til you move to your new house? if so, you are just adjusting your lifestyle even more, might even add more stress to what you already have now. to make it even worse, its just fast food and candy…you workout and run, and what?….end up eating junk food just making all that exercise go to waste…its understandable, its not the easiest time in the world for ya and its a difficult situation that you are in with your family, but you dont need to put your body at risk for the rest of your waiting period.

  2. i’m going through some stuff right now (too?), and my bf told me that we need to prepare our bodies for whatever happens, by working out and eating right.  nobody can predict what will happen to our heads or our hearts, but we can make sure the body that house those organs, will be ready for whatever comes our way.  also, i loved the poem you wrote for your mom 🙂

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