diana’s birthday

So, yes, it becomes a habit that every time i want to vent about tommy, i’ll journal it. And I don’t give him enough credit in my entries about all the good things he does. Those thoughts are already in my heart.. its just small moments like tonight that upset me and I want to vent about.

Yesterday was Diana’s birthday and MAN did I get drunk. But that’s not the point. Hao was there and he was drunk too and very aggressive with all the girls. Originally, Tommy wasn’t going to come to El Pubelito with us and only come to the house party tonight but he ended up being close and coming out with us for a little. By the time he got there, Hao was getting really aggressive and dancing hard on me and i would push him away and all but it would only work temporarily. I know that I wasn’t serious when I pushed him off, I mean i was, but I was drunk also. I went to Chris Aing and I went to Cindy to try to get him off me but he always would still come back. I mean I liked dancing with him. The parts where it was innocent and fun, was really fun! But the more close he got, the more I was like No. And I was only saying no because of Tommy. I thought of him. I thought of how i wanted to be with him. Otherwise, honestly, I feel like if Tommy wasn’t in the picture, I would have gone with the dancing and let loose a little (only in terms of dancing though of course). Anyway, when tommy got arrived, I was all over him. Probably a little too much. But I was doing it for one, to show Hao that I’m sorta with this guy (even if we’re not official), two, because I was drunk and wanted to be all over him. Tommy was not happy with how Hao was. We were all sitting outside and I was standing and Hao pulled me over to sit by him and I lost my balance and Tommy went protective mode and told Hao to calm down. It was nice that he did that for me but then I think it pissed him off after wards. He was ready to punch Hao if he did anything else. He even had his friend back him up.

Anyway, fast forward to the house party, tommy calls me around 730 and tells me that he’s going to hang out with Duc and Richard, which i did not tell him but i was a little disappointed. I thought he’d come over early and hang out with me before the party but knowing him, any chance to see his friends, he will take. But then around 10 PM, he texts me and says that he won’t be able to make it any more. SERIOUSLY? The ONE time he actually says that he’ll come to an event instead of give me a “we’ll see”. I’ve never been so hurt and disappointed (we’ll maybe valentines day). But this is MY SISTER’S BIRTHDAY, my BEST FRIEND. He shouldn’t have only wanted to come to see me, but for my sister. I know that Tommy is not about birthdays, he’s not one to wish someone a happy birthday, he’s not one to try to impress people.